Craig Toonder, MFT
Welcome to
Body-Mind Psychotherapy
and Personal Development
LMFC 42605

Beyond the realm of thought,

there is an inner intelligence and a non-verbal memory system that holds the key to both our wounding and our capacity to heal. Come to know what is inside of you, and that which is hidden from you will become clear to you.
psychedelic therapy

Are you struggling with

depression, anxiety, trauma,
attachment wounding or grief? Are you looking for something more than just
“talking about it” or talking meds for the rest of your life? Find out if psychedelic
therapy is right for you.

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While changing the way

we think can change the way we respond to the world, changing our subconscious programming can change the way we react in the first place. How does Brainspotting work?

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Before our minds had words

to label our relational experiences, our bodies “felt” the quality of our relationships, often through the language of touch. Learn more about somatic psychotherapy

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Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy

Sometimes wounds lie so deep in our subconscious that they feel like who we are. As we get older, the neuropatterns of these wounds become more and more ingrained in the wiring of our brains. Ketamine changes…



Have you discovered that you can’t talk your way out of trauma? Brainspotting works directly on the neuro-physiological aspect of our wounds and traumas that are the root of reactivity. Brainspotting allows…


Somatic Psychotherapy

Have you tried talk therapy and no matter how much you understand why you think and feel the way you do, you still get sucked in the same old unhealthy patterns? Somatic psych…


Couples Therapy

Do you feel lonely, misunderstood, unimportant or underappreciated?
Has trying to talk about it only led to more arguments? Beyond communication skills couples need…

Thanks for Reaching Out

Taking the First Step

Oakland Couples Counseling

Having Trouble Talking To The One You Love?

  • Has the joy and excitement in your relationship slowly faded away?

  • Do you feel lonely, misunderstood, unheard, unsupported, or unappreciated?

  • Have you tried to talk about it, and yet no matter what you say, it only leads to more arguments?

When couples fall in love, they are often filled with the excitement and joy that comes from finding that “someone special.” Yet all too often, somewhere along the line, something starts to go wrong. As they try to communicate with each other about it, despite their best efforts and intentions, things often seem to get worse instead of better.

When couples are unable to communicate effectively, discussions can easily turn into arguments. Feelings of frustration, resentment or hopelessness start to emerge. Eventually, patterns of criticism, blame, heightened emotionavoidance, or constantly arguing aboutwho is right” begin to drive the couple apart.

There Is A Way Back To Love!

You can learn the 4 skills to successfully handle your problems while simultaneously enhancing your love and admiration for each other.


When couples become more aware of how they are behaving, and “remember that they are speaking to someone they love,” they can re-connect with each other from a place of kindness and curiosity. From this loving place, they can then communicate with each other with respect, compassion, and a desire for true understanding.

Secret #1: Beneath every complaint is a desire for love and happiness.

Secret #2: Behind silence and defensiveness lies the desire to feel accepted and safe.

Secret #3: When you can speak and listen from the heart, everything becomes an opportunity for intimacy.


We Invite You To Go For More!

While it is important to learn communication skills, it is also important to realize that all couples fight.

The real difference between successful relationships and stressful relationships is this:

  • Successful couples learn to develop a relationship to their fights.
  • Successful couples know how to turn towards each other in times of stress.
  • Successful couples spend time investing in their friendship, fondness, and admiration for one another.

You can have:

  • A deeper sense of connection and intimacy
  • More joy and excitement together
  • A stronger sense of support and appreciation
  • Respect, trust and understanding for each other

We know it can be hard to ask for support. Yet if you’re reading this, then there is a part of you that still believes in the promise of love.

Listen to

Craig Toonder

An interview by Dr. Lauri Anne Gertonson

Download Link

Watch Highlights

“Hold Me Tight“

Watch highlights from a “Hold Me TIght” workshop

Youtube Channel


When I first started Graduate school I worked in an elementary school as an aide for children with pervasive devel